#Without context he really look like a bully

[utapri-hana]

This screenshot gives Ren so much "the rich bully" vibes 😂😂😂

[beloveds-embrace]

Thinking about designationless reader...

Imagine how alone she must've been for all her life. It started since she was young, her parents pushing her to the corner of the home, away from the family, and naturally, her siblings would follow their parents' lead, pointedly ignoring her, and finding any excuse available to be out of her presence. She wouldn't understand them anyway, she can't tell the difference between noises nor could she even recognize scents. It just wouldn't work.

Reader thinks that maybe she could find someone, anyone in school, but kids are like sharks, except instead of smelling blood, they smell the lack of all scents on her. Most kids have a combination of their own and their family members' scents. Reader has nothing, so everyone continues the pattern, but now with more stares and jeers and hushed giggles. Reader knows that bullying is bad, but anything would be better than simply not existing to anyone. That's what the others say, at least, that she's nothing, nobody. Never to her face, though, just in the whispers shared between friends.

She eventually tries to find others like her through the wonders of the internet. There's maybe a handful more scattered in her country, but none are her age, and all have their own families who care about them. Was it just her who wasn't deserving of love, of connection? Reader reaches out to them, and they talk a little, but before long, through no one's fault, it falls through. She was bad at talking anyway, even if she doesn't have to worry about scents or sounds that aren't there, she never knew much about context or connotation. She never had the opportunity to learn about the intricacies in communication. Reader is back alone.

The military eventually scouts her, and it's the first time anyone has ever really looked at her. Sure, they look at her like a valuable tool, but a tool is better than nothing. Reader obviously joins, desperate for crumbs. She climbs the ranks, gets the job done. She is good at her job, so people respect her. She learns how to talk professionally, emails, texts, and so one, but no one talks to her on leave. No one invites her to the pub after a good mission. No one even talks to her in the mess. But people do talk to her when they have to, and that's enough. Maybe she even gets a callsign. Doe. After Jane Doe, the placeholder name for unknown individuals, and insult if anything.

Now there's the 141. They invite her to things. They talk to her. They touch her. Reader exists for them. She isn't just an unknown person stuck in the background and invisible to everyone else, and Reader doesn't know what to do. Her speech is awkward and overly professional, even in personal settings. How is she supposed to be friends with someone, multiple someones? How is she supposed to move? To act? To express? She doesn't know, but she really wants to learn. At least now she has good teachers.

ANON YOU GENIUSSSS okay but this? Perfect. AHHHH I ADORE THIS IDEA!! Esp the jane doe callsign omg yes

You weren’t used to being seen.

Growing up, you learned quickly how to make yourself small- how to exist quietly, without taking up space, without asking for too much. Because the few times you had asked- asked for a hug, asked to be let into the nest, asked why you felt so different- the answers had all been the same.

No.

Not now.

Not you.

It wasn’t that your parents didn’t love you. You were sure they did, in their own way. But love was hard to feel when your mother flinched at your touch like you were something disgusting, when your father sighed like he was tired every time you entered the room as if you were taking up space he was saving for his other children. When your siblings built their nests without you, curling into piles of warmth and safety while you sat outside the door, knees pulled to your chest and hands balled into fists to keep them from knocking, a cold ache burrowing itself in your chest.

You stopped knocking eventually.

You stopped trying.

You used to wonder if you’d done something wrong- if maybe you could fix yourself and everything would go back to normal. But it wasn’t something you could fix. It was just… you.

Scentless.

Designationless.

Invisible.

School had been worse, perhaps the worst. At least your family had pretended not to notice how different you were. The other kids didn’t bother pretending. They stared openly, whispered behind your back, laughed when you walked by. You’d caught bits and pieces of what they said- weird, wrong, broken, as if they hoped by having you hear their words, they’d convince you to leave at last.

You’d started keeping your head down after that, slipping through the halls like a shadow. No one talked to you unless they had to, and even then they either did it with a mocking, jeering tone that echoes in your nightmares or with a meek tone; as if your lack of everything is contagious. No one sat next to you at lunch, either. When partners were assigned, you always ended up working alone per your teachers’ instructions.

It was easier that way.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

By the time you joined the military, you’d gotten good at being alone. You didn’t need friends. Didn’t need packmates. You had work, and work didn’t care if you were quiet or awkward or too stiff to laugh at the right jokes. Work didn’t care if you flinched when people got too close or froze when someone raised their voice. Work demanded to be done, and you had nothing and no one to stop you from that.

But the military also has the same teens who used to bully you so consistently. Rookies all to ready and happy to lord over you. It’s how you get your despised callsign, Doe. Jane Doe. A cruel mockery, comedy wherein you are the joke that has the world laughing.

Still, you wear it. It’s still an acknowledgment and that will always be better than never being seen. You flit from team to team, unit to unit, always an observer from afar, watching everyone around you speak a language you can’t.

But the 141 was different, when you eventually end up working for them.

They cared.

They cared in ways you weren’t ready for.

Soap was relentless, dragging you into conversations even when you barely knew what to say. He filled the silences like it didn’t bother him, kept talking for the both of you, lounging against you unbothered, until you started talking back. Gaz was gentlest, steadier. He never pushed, just lingered close enough to remind you he was there, waiting, whenever you were ready. Quiet, silent acceptance you’d never been given before, and you were yet far too afraid to so easily cling to it.

And the Alphas- Price and Ghost- were worse.

Price had a way of looking at you that made your chest ache, like he saw you, really saw you, and didn’t mind what he found. Scentless, with no designation and all. Ghost was quieter, sharper, but his eyes tracked you everywhere, presence wrapping around you like he was staking a claim you didn’t understand, like he was teying to etch every part of you behind his eyelids.

You didn’t know what to do with it.

They didn’t give you space. They sat next to you at meals, tugged you along when they went out for drinks, called you over during breaks like it was the most natural thing in the world. And it felt natural- until it didn’t, because sometimes you still felt like an outsider.

Like you didn’t belong.

You tried to hide it, but they saw through you. They always did, and they never shied away.

When you started avoiding the mess hall, it was Gaz who caught you, shoving a plate of food into your hands and dragging you to sit with him like it wasn’t a big deal. When you hung back during missions, letting the others fall into their pack dynamics without you, Soap was the one who looped an arm around your shoulders and pulled.

And when you flinched, once, at the sharp sound of someone’s voice echoing down the hall- when you tensed so hard it made your fingers tremble- it was Price who closed the distance, standing in front of you like a wall and letting Ghost linger at your back. Neither of them said a word.

They didn’t have to.

You weren’t used to being protected. You weren’t used to belonging.

But they made it hard not to.

[roxistic]

The Amazing Digital Circus Episode 3 Analysis and Theory (MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!)

Am I the only one who felt like this line was a little out place in the context of what Kinger was saying before?

Until I realized something.

It implies something specific. And it's foreshadowing.

What it implies:

People abstract when they feel not wanted or not loved. Queenie didn't feel wanted or loved (we don't have enough information to know why).

Kaufmo didn't feel wanted or loved and we have enough information to give us an idea as to why (people stopped laughing at his jokes; he was convinced there was an exit and nobody supported him in this idea/gave up on him/couldn’t help him in his obsession).

We're given a red herring to divert our attention. Pomni thinks Ragatha is feeling unwanted, unloved, or unappreciated by her because Pomni has ignored or been cold to Ragatha’s efforts to support her. So she turns to Ragatha and thanks her. It is important, but it distracts from who this was really alluding to.

It's Jax.

Everytime somebody shows another person that they care, he looks upset.

When Pomni shows care for Gummigoo by trying to take her with him after his reality has been shattered.

When he asks Pomni how “being stuck with the nutcase (Kinger) was” and Pomni says it "wasn't that bad, actually."

And most infamously, the face he makes for a fraction of a second before Kaufmo’s funeral.

He knows nobody likes him. He knows he isn't wanted. Gooseworx herself said that nobody likes him (which you can find on her Tumblr blog as I have hit the image limit on this post.)

Even without that statement, it’s obvious in the show. And following the logic presented here, it’s likely he will be the one to abstract. If not fully abstract, then something drastic will happen with him and he might come dangerously close to it or he may partially abstract similarly to how Pomni did in her dream sequence at the beginning of episode 2.

It would be up to the others to catch him before it’s too late and talk him down from it… somehow. Despite everything he’s done. Despite being a jerk and a bully at every opportunity.

Gooseworx said it would be somebody we wouldn’t expect. Jax seems to be the only person consistently having fun on Caine’s adventures by trying to cause as much chaos as possible, so we wouldn’t have expected him to just give up. But because of what we’ve seen and Gooseworx herself saying nobody likes him, I’m betting on him being the most likely and vulnerable candidate for abstraction.

Unless this too is a red herring and Goose is playing 5D chess with us. But that’s just a theory.

[severussnapemylove]

Haters be like “Snape was just as bad, worse even than James, because he bullied students.”

Honestly, Snape’s behaviour gets blown so out of proportion. Because other than verbal barbs and once threatening a toad, Snape didn’t really do anything. He didn’t put students in deliberate danger, didn’t hex students, didn’t assault anyone. Snape gives students detention and they have to clean. McGonagall gives students detention and they wind up in the Forbidden Forest!

One time, he threw a jar at Harry after Harry *checks notes* oh yeah, looked into Snape’s memories without permission and witnessed his worst memory of being assaulted.

So no, I don’t want to hear the “he bullied students” argument. When in context, he was no worse than any other teacher and far worse had been done to him.

[dunmeshistash]

Why did Milsiril help with Mithrun's recovery?

Since people seemed to be interested in the post I made about why she adopted Kabru I wanted to write my thoughts about her helping Mithrun too.

I think with Mithrun it gets a little trickier tho, both because Mithrun himself doesn't speak much about his past and because most of it we get from a third party account. I'll also try to discuss based on what I see people say about their relationship although is probably gonna be shorter than Kabru's (came back to say it's not shorter), tw for self-harm because of Mithrun recovery drawings.

1 - So Mithrun could become a canary again

This is the theory I see the most often, probably it's whats on the main story, as far as I'm remembering there's no other mentions of Milsiril related to Mithrun besides the role she plays in sparing his life.

That story isn't reliable tho, Mithrun constantly points out that Kabru is glossing over details and Kabru himself is depicted as cooking (as the kids say) a good story that resonates with an audience.

So we can't really trust that this framing is objectively true

But even so taking just what happened, without the context Kabru added, what she did was spare his life once she realized he still had a hint of desire to exist within him.

Kabru lies (or rather embelishes a lot) when he says "and from that point onward, Mithrun lived only to slay demons. He ate even he had no desire to eat. He lived on even though he had no desire to live." he was useless for 20 years after this so 'saving him cause he will be useful later' isn't really too accurate. Milsiril also wasn't involved with his rehab until Utaya 18~19 years later so it definitely wasn't for this that she helped.

2 - So Mithrun could avenge Utaya by defeating the demon (She winded him up and set him on a path, you know, like a doll)

I think this one is kinda mean, I've seen people speak as if she only helped him after Utaya because she wanted to use him to defeat the demon. But there's no evidence Milsiril even cares about the demon or that she wants vengeance. My girl literally ran away and decided to look away instead of continuing to fight (and I can't blame her)

This, as far as I understand, is based both on the above section and on this part from her adventurer's bible extra

She shows up to visit him and brings up the demon, and then sets him up to go after it, but once again I think it relies on an unkind interpretation of her character; you gotta assume she has unseen ulterior motives already before the comic even starts, since this whole comic is talking about how she completely misinterpreted who Mithrun was when they were in the same squad, and how she feels he's actually someone she would get along with. If you know Milsiril, you know she only gets along with other misfits, she's acknowledging Mithrun as someone who was broken like her even before his desires were eaten.

This is the complete comic

"I always hated you. You were beautiful and perfect, and everybody loved you. You didn't seem to have a single worry or flaw.

But when I saw the dungeon you'd built, I was startled. It was such a warped, convoluted place built from inferiority, jealousy, lies and anger.

I wish I'd tried really talking to you. We might have hit off pretty well. Too late now, I guess"

She acknowledges him as a human being, when before she only saw him as the embodiment of the people that bullied her. And right after that she talks about the demon. There's no indication for a wish of vengeance anywhere in this comic, I'd even say the demon and the dungeons are barely important to what Milsiril is thinking, there's only belated compassion.

3 - Cause he was a new "project"

Related to the reasons pointed out in my Kabru post, people assume Milsiril is the type of person that wants/needs to feel superior to someone, or to put on an altruistic front or what have you. And that interpretation also leaks into how they see her helping Mithrun. I said the main reasons why I don't think she's that type of person on the other post so I wont repeat. But I don't think Mithrun is a "project" at all.

This was right after she fought on Utaya, I imagine a little after or a little before she took in Kabru, so she "had a project" already if you're gonna go with that wording. She was also finally free from the canaries and she had no obligation towards Mithrun. She also only went back to him decades after she spared his life, my assumption is that she did it because she finally could. She couldn't have guessed when she spared his life that 19 years later she would be free from the canaries and that Mithrun still wouldn't have been recovered and would have been needing her.

4 - And finally, why did she spare his life? Why did she help him recover?

This one isn't as straight foward as Kabru's adoption to me. I imagine the fact he had the potential to still be useful could be one of the reasons she spared Mithrun at first, but I also think that he newfound empathy she developed for him when she saw his dungeon might have been part of it, that seeing he still had some sort of drive and desire made her have hope he could still live.

Milsiril really seems like the type of person that likes to nurture, while I wouldn't say this makes her a "softie" and not able to execute him (I'm sure she could do a mercy kill) I think that soft side made her want to give him a chance. There's no proof for any of that ofc, and Kui confirmed in a QnA Mithrun wasn't arrested or executed because they were desperate for people to be in the canaries. (The choice probably wasn't only on her)

Now why she helped him? I think it's because she saw he could be helped.

She says herself she's only visiting, probably to check on him

"They said you've fully recovered but you might as well be a corpse." so by this point I think his body has recovered and he has managed to stabilize? But as this extra from the daydream hour shows he needed 24/7 care to stay alive in those first 18 years

Like she said he might as well be a corpse, he'd be in bed all day and have servants keeping him from dying, he would have fits where he would harm himself, he had no way to go on. It even says that even things that could remind him of his time as dungeon lord weren't allowed so he was probably being kept away from demon mentions (after all I doubt servants even knew about a demon)

But then when she mentions the demon he immediately gets up

She's surprised so I don't think she expected that, and she goes and uses that reaction to help him "Then first eat this. If you finish it all I'll take you to a dungeon again"

Rather than using him to fight the demon I think she's using the demon to help him live. Here's what his bio says

"After Mithrun was recused from the dungeon, he spent a while on the verge of death. However, with time and rehabilitation he gradually became able to lead a normal life again. The Utaya incident was the event that roused him. He thought, 'If I'd been there, I know I could have dealt with the demon somehow' and he resolved to return to active duty. (...)"

So it worked, Milsiril might have been there to help with his rehab but it was the Utaya situation that finally was able to motivate him to find a way to live and rejoin the canaries, so I think rather than setting him up to kill she realized it could be used to help him.

Which isn't a perfect solution, as you might know by the ending, his fate was to die either way: either he would die trying to kill the demon or he would defeat it and die because he had nothing else to live for.

But it was what Milsiril could do for him at that moment and it was how she managed to help him go forwards.

And that's my thoughts about Milsiril and Mithrun, I don't think they as big in each other's lives in canon as some people assume, there's barely a mention of Milsiril on his profile and she's barely named in his backstory. But they were both people that left a mark on each other's existence if only for a short time.

But I don't think Milsiril was just doing charity when helping Mithrun either, I imagine she did it because she saw herself in past Mithrun, and wanted to help him because of it.

Also side note, this extra:

That's past Mithrun saying she has ulterior motives, he isn't reliable and thinks badly of everyone. So ofc he thinks gloomy Milsiril is suspicious for helping, him doesn't mean it's true

Disclaimer again I'm a Milsiril stan so I'm very charitable in my interpretations of her, but hopefully you can see there's no indication she is someone who would use a sick person for revenge with the sources I've attached.

[hanasnx]

MINORS DNI 18+

You line the end of your stick up with the cue ball, your tongue poking out from between your lips in concentration. Playing pool was never your strong suit, but you’re not trying to win this game per se. You’re interested in something far more valuable.

TOJI FUSHIGURO approaches you from behind, hanging his head to the side to get a good gander at your round behind. The baby tee you wear rides up from how you bend over, revealing the dimples at the small of your back. Not at all brief, and in great detail, Toji imagines other contexts. Circumstances in which his thumbs would find a handle on those divots, yanking you back onto him when you run away from a good dicking. Looking at you now, dressed up in a pink outfit two sizes too small, you wouldn’t know a good dicking if it hit you in the face, and he sure was considering batting your pretty cheeks with it.

You wiggle your hips, subconsciously rearing to prepare for your shot, and he chases you. Without thinking about it, he lines himself up with you, rolling his tongue between his lips as mere inches separate the bulge in his pants with your backside strapped in by that teeny skirt. His hand itches to fix onto your tailbone, steadying you so he can nudge up against you. Jus’ a little, wouldn’t even know he was there. Tuck his thumb in the crevice to give your asshole a massage while he did it, he’s really thinking about you here, you should be grateful.

You wind back, and flick your stick forward, pool balls knocking together in snapping sounds as you watch your move play out. He sniffs and swipes his nose pinching it between his index and thumb real quick, adjusting his pants by the back of his belt as he rounds you. A hand at the top of his stick allows him to lean on it marginally, the pool balls slowing to a stop under his gaze.

“You’re bad at this.” he tells you.

The curl to your lips deepens, popping your hip out as you tilt your head at him. He notes the flirtatious body language, the knowing glint in your eye. “Am I?”

His gaze darkens. “Can show you a few things. If you promise it’ll get through that thick skull o’ yers.” A small smile on his mouth stretches out the scar tissue overlaying his lips, and you visualize tracing it with your tongue.

“Oh, don’t be a brute.” you respond as he passes behind you, forcing you to follow him with your eyes. As he picks his target, he holds your gaze, hunching over the table as he lines up his stick. Powerful shoulders confined in a thin black t-shirt has you biting hard onto your lower lip. He breaks the eye contact long enough to hit the ball, but you don’t bother watching them scatter, focused on taking in every marginal move he makes, straightening to his full and dizzying height. The end of his stick comes to your exposed midriff, and hooks under the hem of your baby tee, flicking it up.

“You like it when I’m a brute.”

Indignantly, you tug your shirt back down. It’s clear he wanted to fake you out, make you believe he was gonna get away with flashing himself and any lucky stiff at this bar. You swat his arm scoldingly, but all your dumb brain can think about is how hard and thick his bicep is. “I do not! Why do you insist on bullying me?”

He grins, canines glinting in the dim and smoky light, snickering through his nose. “Easy to bully when you’re bite-sized.”

Bite-sized. That’s all that goes through that thick skull of yours when Toji’s pulling out your brains and shoving ‘em back in with every fuck into you later. Powerful and harsh thrusts, nailing your abused cervix so hard you’re sure it’ll bruise. “The fuck are you thinking about, hah? You rememberin’ those pool tips? Got ya to lay down real low on that table. Bet everyone saw up that stupid little skirt.” Toji jeers at you while he’s pinning you by your head, big hand on your hair to pin your cheek to the mattress. “Everyone saw you leave with me. Saw a slice of cherry pie get pushed around by mean ol’ Toji, only to hang off my arm out the door. A little slutty, don’t’cha think?” He’s amusing himself, you can tell by the sound of his deep voice he’s got that wolfish grin on he wears so well. Wickedly, his reckless pace speeds up so you can’t form a response.

Your limp body has no choice but to move with him, rippling with each sheath into you. Poor cunt puffy and agitated around him as his mean cock brutalizes it some more. Tears sting your eyes but you can’t tell if they’re of pain or pleasure.

“T- Toji—“ you choke out, reaching back to finger timidly at his thighs. He won’t have it, picking himself up to a kneel so he can yank you back on him. Thumbs slot onto your dimples as fingers tuck between the folds of your pelvis and thighs. That perfect ass of yours smacking against him so hard, your skin pebbles and blushes.

“Huh?” he mocks. “What’s that? S’this the part where you lie and tell me you can’t handle it? Nah, little girl, I’m looking at the way this cunt’s slurpin’ me up. Fucking take it.”

[maxillness]

Soft Launch || Hamilton!Driver!Reader x Retired! Nico Rosberg

Summary: The second Red Bull driver soft launches her boyfriend

Warnings: Not much besides a little fighting between reader and Lewis

A/N: First time doing a smau, so any feedback is appreciated

Liked by lewishamilton and 973,782 others

ynhamilton Nothing like spending the summer break with the boyfriend and his kids

lewishamilton I'm sorry??

user The fact she's just igored lewis 😭

danielricciardo You're cheating on me? ☹️

maxverstappen1 Ha.

redbullracing We've told you to be nice, Max

user Red Bull's admin needs a raise

charles_leclerc Why's no one asking who he is?

ynhamilton 🤫

charles_leclerc Now you're just being mean

Liked by danielricciardo and 974,729 others

ynhamilton You don't realise how much stuff you have until you move, but I got breakfast in bed, so that's good 😋

danielricciardo Girl, spill the goods, who's this lucky man?

ynhamilton Nice try, badger

danielricciardo Worth a shot

lewishamilton I won't speak to you until you tell me who he is

ynhamilton Dramatic

mercedesamgf1 Tell me so i can rub it in Lewis' face?

ynhamilton Are there more muffins?

mercedesamgf1 I think so

ynhamilton You got yourself a deal

georgerussell63 Not fair

Tagged nicorosberg

Liked by nicorosberg, greentech_festival and 973,983 others

ynhamilton went to @/greentechfestival and met my biggest fan 💪

nicorosberg Pleasure to meet you ma'am

ynhamilton Dumbass

danielricciardo Doesn't seem to be a lot of people there 🤔

ynhamilton Stayed late 😉

user Suspicious...

user Is it just me, or does her boyfriend kinda look like Nico?

user WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING

Tagged ynhamilton

Liked by ynhamilton and 2,784,025 other

nicorosberg Remind me to never test drive with her again

ynhamilton Why so rude? I was a good passenger princess

nicorosberg Yeah, AFTER you made me buy you coffee

ynhamilton I'm just a girl 😋

user Haven't yn and Nico spend a little too much time together recently?

danielricciardo Way too much

ynhamilton I'll break up with you

danielricciardo Girl, you cheated on me

Tagged nicorosberg

Liked by nicorosberg and 973,794 others

ynhamilton I'm pretty sure he was high

nicorosberg I was not high, tf?

ynhamilton Whatever you say, princess

user Context for the first picture?

ynhamilton Turns out, it's very easy to bribe kids to bully their father

user Girl... 💀

user It's kinds sus that Nico's always the first one to like her photos, no?

user He's a simp, you can see it in the interviews

ynhamilton He's just a girl ✨🎀

Tagged lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1, silverstonecircuit

Liked by mercedesamgf1 and 975,783 others

ynhamilton How to get your brother to talk to you without telling him who your boyfriend is, no glue, no borax?

danielricciardo Tell me who he is so i can tell him

ynhamilton You really are stupid

georgerussell Kick him in the nuts and threatened him

ynhamilton You're kinda scaring me, George

mercedesamgf1 I'll talk to him

ynhamilton Thank you, baby 😘

Tagged redbullracing, maxverstappen1, nicorosberg, danielricciardo

LIked by nicorosberg, redbullracing and 976,873 others

ynhamilton Couldn't have won today without my bestfriends beside me... and daniel of course

danielricciardo ...

maxverstappen1 I'm just more important. Ha.

redbullracing Max.

nicorosberg Congrats, schatzi 🏆

user suspicious 🤔

Tagged nicorosberg

Liked by nicorosberg and 978,983 others

ynhamilton Don't mind me, just admiring the beauty of my boyfriend... pleasetalktomeagainlewis

lewishamilton I was gonna talk to you again when i read the caption, then I saw the pictures, and I said fuck no

ynhamilton Bitch please, you're just jealous

mercedesamgf1 He's crying in a corner

nicorosberg I thought we agreed to make it official on our anniversary next month??

ynhamilton You know i'm impatience

danielricciardo Why am i not surprised...?

jensonbutton Because it's... obvious? Have you seen him when he talks about her?

nicorosberg Mean.

jensonbutton Simp

user I FUCKING KNEW IT

user Mami y papi

user When's the wedding??

ynhamilton Don't get ahead of yourself darling

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

(to the tune of Avril Lavigne's sk8terboi)

He was a human battering ram.

She was a recon sniper.

Can I make it any more obvious?

Headcannons - Fit for a King - König x fem!OC fanfic

Instead of making a y/n fic, I decided to create an original female character because I ususally write all of my stuff in POVs. Due to posting the chapters often right after I've written them some of the context and the characterization might not be explicit in every single piece, some of the information is only gonna get revealed down the road.

(TW: alcoholism, death, violence)

Karina Müller is almost 30 years old, she served in the Norwegian military from right after school until the death of her brother who was KIA on a mission together. She fell off the wagon after that, feeling responsible for his death and effectively being shunned by her family after that. Her pick of poison was alcohol and it got so bad that she more than once was drunk on the job which led to her getting kicked out.

The years after that she spent getting help, trying to get clean and going back to a civilian life, but the military was what she knew, so the civilian jobs didn't stick and she started to work as a mercenary, now a dry alcoholic. Which might be an issue for some contractors, but KorTac doesn't really bat an eye.

She's a compassionate person who loves to laugh, she's seen enough shit not to take any from her teammates and can stand her ground when faced with any challenge thrown her way. She's still working through some stuff, coming to terms with her past, but she has an optimistic spirit and a strong will.

Even though the Colonel seems scary at first, she learns pretty quickly that he is to be respected in training and on the battlefield, but on a personal level he's really not that bad. The 6'10'' killing machine, Austrian war criminal (insert "what murdeeer?!"-meme here) is quite an anxious person when it comes to basic human interaction.

Shouting orders at his team, stomping his enemies into the ground is more comfortable to him than just talking about mundane stuff with other people, he mostly keeps to himself (except for Horangi because that little shit would never leave him alone). And for the first time in a long time, Müller makes him wish that he could just go up to people and strike up a normal conversation like a normal person (don't we all).

König is 38 years old (we don't know his full name) and has the biggest metalhead dad vibes without actually having any children himself (his favourite band is Death, although he listens to a bunch of different ones, it's also their merch shirt Müller steals in "Are you wearing my t-shirt?").

When he started out in the military, he shaved his long metalhead hair off because that was the way to go back then, but he let it grow back when he was older and already Colonel. He has gauged ears and a plethora of tattoos all over his body because the soft pain of body modifications and working out until he almost passes out are his ways of dealing with his anxiety and stress. His body is a testament to that.

He has a huge scar on the right side of his face from when he got beaten to a pulp by his bullies at school, something he never let happen again after that (five on one was really unfair). His nose has been broken two times and sometimes his tattoos get destroyed by battle injuries, but he doesn't really care about that - or his looks in general. He's a soldier and not a model.

So the reason why he's always wearing the selfmade hood is not the scar. He prefers not to show his feelings to others, staying hidden underneath the mask for his own comfort, even if it makes him scarier also in situations where he doesn't want to be.

(CW: some nsfw headcannons ahead, talk about not wanting to have children) They're both switches, though König is leaning more on the Dom-side while Müller is a sub who likes to brat a little too much, just to see her man falter (for example when she calls him a good boy in random scene #1).

Müller is bisexual, something she discovered when serving in an all-women-taskforce of the Norwegian military (we don't really know about König's sexuality though). She decided a long time ago that she doesn't want to have children (she doesn't see herself leaving service again anytime soon and given her past, she doesn't see herself fit to become a mother), so she got her tubes tied. Which also comes in handy when a certain Colonel's favourite pasttime (well, actually second favourite) is leaving creampies inside her (no 'unexpected pregnancy' trope in this household).

König definitely eats pussy for his own pleasure, begging Müller to let him eat her out in "Sit" or losing a little friendly competition for a sexual favour in "But no funny business" (oh and he definitely steals her panties at any chance he gets). She's totally not opposed to servicing him as well, but the size of his dick makes this a whole endeavour (like seen in "Open wide, Prinzessin").

They match each other's energy pretty well, just going at it like rabbits at every chance they get, which sometimes proves to be difficult as they're sneaking around in secret.

Their arrangement is kind of a fuckbuddy/fwb-situation, they fuck hard and rough, without ever really kissing (the mask stays on), but after a while feelings start to get in the way... After all they do belong together <3

Read more at the Fit for a King - Masterlist or keep an eye out for the AO3 link - coming soon.

[dipperscavern]

i know you already talked a bit about mean!robb but what about the other stark men? do you think theyre ever mean? do you think youd have to ask them? or would you be able to push their buttons to get them to go to town in you? are they mean in different way?

i just want to know more about the starks being meanies in bed 😮‍💨

GOOODNIIIIIIIIIIGHT SAVANNAH. MEAN STARKS MEAN STARKS

okay, so, all the starks are inherently gentleman. it’s in their blood, and how they were raised. northmen don’t PLAY about their women. but, that’s not saying they can’t be mean.

cregan. i’m sweating.. okay. cregan can be “mean”, but i’m imagining a very specific type of mean. instead of punishing you, it’s more of him showing you what he really can do to you. remember when i said cregans pace in eating you out would be slower, but it would be really intense? i think it’s the same for fucking. when cregans being mean its very intense and overwhelming. like, crying into the pillow limbs shaking overwhelming. robb is very taunting when he’s mean, but cregan wouldn’t even say anything. just letting his body do the talking. however, if you could see him, you’d see the smile on his face (tee hee).

i don’t think you’d even necessarily have to ask cregan to be mean or rough. he’d see it as an attitude adjustment. oh… oh walk with me. if you’re being snappy all day, plain rude and disregarding everything he’s saying, he gives you a warning. he reminds you of his size after a particular snarky comment, backing you against the wall without even using his hands to push you. just pauses in his tracks, looks at you, sees you unwavering, and stalks toward you without word. then, if it continues, he’ll just push you towards your chambers silently with a hand on the small of your back.

he’d definitely gauge your reactions throughout the day to make sure that it’s what you’re really after, and when he’s proven right, even in the middle of an attitude adjustment he’s making sure he’s not pushing your limits too far. he’s attentive, even when he’s bullying his cock in you. 🫠

[coughs and almost throws up on myself. sits back in my office chair and leans out the open door] LINDA. CAN WE GET MEAN JON SNOW ON THE PHONE?!

with jon, he’s only able to be mean in a dirty context. sorry but u can’t convince me otherwise. out of a dirty context, robb could definitely be mean. cregan could be assertive…. hm… IM GETTING OFF TRACK.

jon is a patient man. he’s understanding, and honestly, you might have to give him some serious hints on what you want. he could definitely get the idea on his own, but it would be better/easier to talk to him about it. he would be unsure at first, afraid of hurting you, but if you push his buttons you’d get what you want. when you’re being snarky and pushing his buttons, he’d just give you these looks. his eyes are dark, and he’s clearly frustrated, but he won’t do anything in front of other people. he’d make you think he let it slide, and then you’re walking to your shared chambers & he’s suddenly dragging you there, closing the door & pushing you against it.

and… can i be real… i don’t think he’d even use his cock. you love when jon uses his mouth on you. he’s so good at it, it’s almost like a reward. but, with that being said… edging. that’s his way of being mean. he’s skilled with his tongue, he knows how to make you cum. so he won’t. he’ll get you there, he’ll make you get soooo close — and then pull away, making you whine. he’s not mad forever though, and he can’t resist making you cum for long. he just needs to get his frustration out, then you can finish <3

oh but.. freshly post resurrection jon snow. i think he needs to fuck you. hard. bend you over till you’re crying. he’s grunting and panting,. and… and…. [i go limp] [lindas voice crackles over the intercom] “SHES DOWN! CODE BLACK” [emts come and retrieve me with a stretcher]

[yuri-is-online]

Trey seeing you like his teasing and bullying, don't tempt the man. He's barely hanging on.

the following is a rough concept? warm up? from a long fic I have been writing on and off for months now. the context is that Trey is sick and Yuu has decided to bring him food before Riddle can kill him w/ Lilia on the assist.

Nothing too explicit... yet. yet

"Seriously." You sigh, focusing on the container and... quivering. Your arms are straining against the containers unintentional vacuum seal, did you run over here to see him as soon as you heard about him fainting? Or were you just too... he doesn't want to say stupid even though it catches in his throat along with his saliva when he sees you roll your lower lip under your teeth and grunt. "It's tight." Yes, something is, wound so tight it ought to snap.

"Need some help?" His voice is uncharacteristically breathy, as is the directness of the offer, and he thinks he can make out disappointment. A phantom strength allows him to sit up as his eyes narrow to let him see just that much better; he tries focusing on your teeth, it's the left canine that's denting your lip. It pushes in as he moves forward, threatens to pierce the flesh. The lump in his throat goes down as he floats more than moves up from the bed, resting his weight against his night stand.

"No." You bring the soup up to your chest before immediately bringing it back down. How silly of you, it must be really hot. "I keep telling you, I'm not doing this because I need you-" Trey moves his arm around to your other side, resting it on his desk and delighting in how clear your surprise is now that he has his glasses on.

"How kind of you." Your tongue peaks out to lick your canine and draws his attention back to your lips. Trey likes your lips, they're so... expressive. Uncontrollable, no matter how much you try to hide how much you want to have him around your lips always give you away. "But you've got to be doing this for some reason." Right now they purse, hooked on his bait and unaware of the line as he leans just a bit more forward crowding you closer to the desk. "That's just how this school works." Your lip trembles. Three more teeth peak out of your mouth and Trey can't even be bothered to list the numbers in his head to distract from where the blood leaving his head is going. He wants to bite down, sink in his own teeth in place of yours and suck-

"Trey!" Thank the seven you put thought to put the food behind you before you went to catch him, Trey's heavy even if you only have to push him back over to his bed which thankfully isn't that far. "You're supposed to be resting." You snatch his glasses from his head before he can even manage to react but he doesn't seem to upset. He wiggles his head back into his pillow, and looks in your vague direction as you finally manage to pop the damn lid off the soup and try to convince yourself the heat hurting your face is from the steam and not your own stupid feelings. "I'll set this over here and get some tea."

"Make some for yourself too." You think you hear him say as you walk on out in a daze.

Trey closes his eyes and tries to take a deep breath without hating himself too much. Something is wrong with him, that's got to be the correct explanation for this.

[sepublic]

Unlocking the Sad Backstory

I find it interesting how a lot of arcs in TOH have this general pattern of…

Character hurts others -> Character is unhappy, reconsiders their harm -> Character begins to do better -> Character’s sad backstory that re-contextualizes them is unlocked

And it applies even to characters that aren’t exactly villains or even antagonists, but for whom hurting someone nevertheless is a major premise! So to look at examples;

Amity is Willow and Luz’s bully, but we see how she’s unfairly manipulated by Lilith and is ashamed because of it. Luz reaching out to her makes Amity reconsider, she undoes the binding oath she placed on Luz. Then we see Amity’s siblings and how both parties are toxic to one another, and then we get a flashback confirming her parents are abusive. In regards to Willow specifically, Amity acknowledges she’s done harm to Willow in burning her memories, and works to fix them with Luz before we get this context.

Emira and Edric are also toxic to Amity, but in their next appearance they’re remorseful about what they’ve done to Amity, they’re working to make it up to their baby sister. And while they’re not present in the aforementioned flashback, their parents being confirmed as abusive tells you everything you need to know about them.

Lilith has a petty rivalry with Eda, but we see how much she cares and keeps breaking the law to look the other way, too. Then we see how she’s pressured by the Emperor’s Coven, and even threatened by Belos, before she captures Eda. We learn of her curse, but again; We see Lilith next and it’s reiterated that she believes this will cure Eda, we remember wanting to be kinder happened after cursing Eda. We see Lilith attempt to free Eda, and then we get the backstory about how the curse was mostly an accident. We get more info later on how Gwen’s neglect contributed to Lilith’s inferiority complex.

Hunter is the Golden Guard, he threatens to boil Luz, Eda, and King to death and wants the Selkidomus dead, but won’t even do it himself. He kidnaps Palismen to feed to Belos. But then later we see how he’s unhappy over his situation, how he feels like his uncle won’t let him help. Hunter begins to show consideration towards Flapjack and later Luz when he reveals his name, and then we get context as to how physically abusive Belos is, and where that scar came from. Flapjack returns and Hunter spares him.

Alador is either a controlling abuser to Amity, or a neglectful one. But he does hold his wife accountable when she tries to betray their daughter by going back on her end of the deal, and later shows genuine love for Amity when Alador isn’t more concerned about the family’s socioeconomic status. Amity admits how unhappy she is, Alador realizes he truly is hurting his daughter, and promises to talk with his wife over this. We later see him try, and then we see that Alador is also abused, and it’s implied his neglect comes from overworking himself in exchange for his children being spared the same.

Boscha is a bully, through and through. She torments everyone for purely petty reasons. But she also admits to feeling similar pressure as Willow, and then confesses to being lonely without Amity, Skara, Amelia, or Cat. Amity acknowledges that Boscha is lonely, but points out that Boscha needs to respect her for who she is. Boscha listens, and helps stop Kikimora. In the credits we see fully that she really was a miserable, scared child being manipulated by a grown adult.

The Collector is aiding Belos’ genocide, and (seemingly) knowingly. But they’re also fretful over the nature of their ‘friendship’ and are left betrayed and hurt. They meet King, and after being freed by him, we see how they try to be a good friend to King and are slowly listening to him bit by bit, which is why King vouches for rehabilitation over imprisonment. The Collector is already against harm to a certain point, defying what the Archivists mandate. And then we learn that they were unjustly imprisoned by the Titan, and didn’t even know about death in their childish, simplistic view of the world, seeing people as only broken and unmoving yet capable of being fixed at any time, if all the parts are there.

Gwen makes Eda feel ashamed of her curse, she neglects Lilith. But she does care for at least one daughter, and is horrified when she realizes the harm her antivaxxer actions have done. Gwen makes things up not only to Eda, but Lilith especially in taking her back home, even as Gwen explains during her reconciliation that she honestly saw Lilith as self-sufficient. And then a few episodes later, we find out her husband was mauled and left disabled by the curse, unable to continue his life’s work. And we get even more context for Gwen’s obsession in curing her daughter of the condition that gave her so much guilt.

Camila made Luz feel unwanted at home, going along with the camp, and her outburst later on was the wrong call; But she’s not punished for it, that’s not necessary. Instead she apologizes, we see Camila worry about the camp taking away Luz’s passion by salvaging her daughter’s weirdness for her, we see her be accommodating to Luz and her friends when she returns, having reflected in that time, and offering support. And then we learn that Camila was just like Luz, she fit in to survive, and she lost Manny, someone she needed to stand up for herself.

Bump is introduced as a principal willing to dissect Luz, but he also appreciates Willow’s magic and vouches for her to her parents. We see that he’s actually open-minded and cares about his students, he lets Eda enroll Luz on the fair grounds that Eda clear her own messes; Bump insists on following the coven system and places students into the detention track, but when those kids save the day, Bump owns up to a mistake he clearly didn’t like anyhow and changes things. And then we see his past, and how he’s been improving things this whole time, challenging Faust and looking out for Eda!

Even Steve technically qualifies; He’s a covenscout, he’s a jerk who knocks over someone else’s books to express his cop enthusiasm. But Steve forgives Skara for punching him in the face because he kidnapped her, and then admits to Hunter that what they’ve done is wrong, and he’s now reconsidering. Afterwards Steve has his introspective interactions with King, and then we see his face; Implying (and eventually confirmed by Dana) that he is the older brother that Mattholomule spoke of, who gave him the map to the Looking Glass Ruins that Adrian, in the previous episode, admitted he couldn’t find; Because Steve gave away the map to make his kid brother happy.

Likewise, I want to discuss two characters who don’t exactly fit this sequence, and don’t mature or get better, not of their own volition for one:

Kikimora is Belos’ assistant, she’s complicit in his executions. She tries to murder Hunter out of nothing but jealousy, helps bring Raine to Terra, goes after everyone at the Knee, etc. But then we see Kikimora is miserable because of her unsympathetic mother, who is probably abusive; She has no consideration that her daughter is obligated to their dictator, who demonstrated on live television that he’ll execute even his own high-ranking officials if they don’t go along with him, and Kikimora was there in-person. And is now expected to help with a major event involving other high-ranking officials and the dictator himself.

So we get Kikimora hurting people, being unhappy, and having a sad backstory; But we don’t have Kikimora reconsider the harm she’s doing. She accepts Luz’s help for her own sake, and instead of empathizing with Luz as a result, Kikimora betrays her when she sees a potential promotion. Kikimora is let down, we see later that she’s been demoted to the Crate Coven.

But then she attempts to bring Hunter to Belos, and it’s revealed later that she knows what happens to Grimwalkers like him, and has known about the genocide and still went along out of obsessive devotion. Despite this, Kikimora does not warrant Belos’ callousness, it’s not triumphant it’s just cruel because he was going to kill her just for being a demon, villain or saint it didn’t matter. So Kikimora is given her revenge when she helps free the Collector, who splatters Belos, an injury that leads to his eventual death, and stops the draining spell, saving Kikimora’s own life in the process!

At which point, you think she’d learn, right? But instead Kikimora does the exact same thing as Belos, which Luz calls out, despite having had her pedestal shattered because Kikimora doesn’t care about the harm to others, only herself. And so she can only temporarily be an ally, before going back to being an antagonist; The system is fine if she’s in charge, she doesn’t learn anything from what happened. And Kikimora is captured by rebelling students, and forced into community service four years later.

There’s also Belos, whom… Okay do I even need to explain??? We learn that he is upset by his brother’s death and misses him, too. And he does feel guilt about murdering Caleb and even the Grimwalkers, they weren’t purely replaceable in his eyes! But he never reconsiders his harm, he keeps repeating it, he never changes. Belos doesn’t even acknowledge that he’s doing witches and demons wrong. And while we do get his backstory, it’s clear from his priorities, the details, and Masha and the Titan’s own takeaways that he fully chose his misery, and that his backstory is not so sad with this in mind.

I wonder if the takeaway is that these characters can’t truly get better because in the end, they won’t acknowledge the harm they’ve done; They won’t admit it, they won’t do anything about it. And so they can only be counted on to care about making themselves feel better, but that’s it. And so on a pragmatic level, co-existence has to be forced.

Because with Kikimora, she’s made to do community service, and with prisons being abolished for hospitals, she’s likely on house arrest because the alternative is execution and no state should have that power. And with Belos, he proved himself too dangerous, he was well past his lifespan and dying anyway, and they were not going to sacrifice even a single, unwilling Palisman to keep Belos alive.

As for all the other characters, for whom things do work out with? I find it interesting how Sad Backstory is something for the protagonists and viewers to unlock. Maybe the idea is that the protagonists aren’t prepped to forgive a character simply over what happened in the past, just what’s happening now, and what they’re trying to do about it. You can still empathize when they’re sad, even without a backstory for context because look at Luz during Covention!

But as a whole it makes sense for the takeaways of those around them, because why should I care that you were sad, if you’re still being a jerk anyway? Now I know your sad backstory, but you’ve known it the whole time you were hurting me, so what difference does it make about you if you’re not changing; Do you just expect me to keep forgiving you out of pity?

It could be a consideration for what characters around them might realistically feel. The sad backstory, the re-contextualizing for why they’re like that, is the cherry on top to their arc; Yes this person sucks, but maybe they aren’t having a great time either. They give people a reason to be sympathetic. And then those people get to really appreciate their side of the story when they don’t have to worry about still being hurt.

Maybe it’s also a message to the audience, because with other characters showing that you still need to be careful in extending a hand, and given the toxic and abusive relationships we see, maybe this could be the context for that? An abuser’s sad backstory is the last thing on your mind; Your first thought should be that they’re hurting you.

But if they’re looking for help and actually want to improve, then you can offer it, and if they accept, then you can let yourself be caught up over their tragic past, instead of making excuses for them from the get-go because of that, RIP Hunter. When it comes to Willow, she was allowed to be angry well after learning Amity’s Sad Backstory, when she felt Amity wasn’t pulling her weight in making up for everything.

By contrast we have Eda not really giving a damn whether the curse was an accident, because Lilith still took knowingly took Luz hostage and threatened her, captured Eda. So her present actions are being unaddressed even if Lilith thinks her past one is. And when King vouches for Lilith, Eda refrains from taking vengeance; Lilith saving the family and taking the curse, past and present actions made up for, culminates in forgiveness.

It’s not enough that Lilith felt bad about it, she needed to tangibly do something about it, something genuine that doesn’t miss the point (unlike a certain emperor), and so to a no-nonsense adult like Eda, that’s when she can be forgiven. That’s when her sad backstory resonates, just as for the audience, that’s when we learn it so we can even appreciate it at all.

Some of this may just be basic storytelling conventions, like of course you’re going to get the character first and their characterizing actions, and then their backstory. But then again you could just as easily mix things up. Or it could just be an extension of this show’s larger fascination with re-contextualizing previous scenes and details. I just think it’s an interesting pattern to dwell over, and I wonder if it was intentional, how much was intentional, etc. Because with a show wanting to help kids understand abuse, to avoid it and/or realize it’s happening to them, to get help and heal, and finally figure out if they should forgive their abusers, if they want to… All of this could work in that regard.

[alesbianperson]

bully!ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: Ever since that project that you both worked on, shes been unreasonably mean to you and you have no idea why.

warnings: mean ellie (not really extreme tho); implied football player!ellie; some swear words

authors note: this is my first attempt to write in like 2 years and just half proofread and english isn't my first language (cliché, i know), so i apologise for any context or grammar mistakes

--☆--

You loved going to school. You were nice to everyone, and everyone liked you. Even the mean teachers. However, there was one person who could not stand you, and you didn't even know the reason. She was just being unreasonably mean to you since that one project.

4 years earlier

Your biology teacher just announced a partner project at which your classmates already began searching for their preferred partners. You turned to your best friend who just gave you a thumbs up, but before you could stand up and walk over to her, the teacher suddenly said: "Before you all get too exited, I already assigned the partners."

An annoyed sigh left your lips as you sat back down, already expecting the worst. Your teacher began to read the partners aloud while you sat with your fingers crossed, hoping you'd get assigned with your best friend.

Which did not happen. When only a few of your classmates were left, he finally said your name. "You will work with Ellie Williams." You sighed in relief. From what you've heard, she was pretty okay. Smart, too. So working with her wouldn't be a catastrophe. As the teacher began listing the topics that were available, you turned around to face Ellie, who was already looking at you. You flashed a smile at her, which she returned.

Within the next few days, you both mostly met up in the library to work. It was funny to work with her, plus the topic was really easy. You wouldn't really talk about anything other than the project, but Ellie somehow  always found a way to make some jokes referring to her interests and you couldn't help but laugh at every single one of them.

You both were finished very quickly and got an a for that project. Working with her was pretty fun, too. At least you thought that.

Ever since then, she began commenting on everything you did. When you'd ask something in class and the teacher answered, she'd chuckle and say something like "obviously." When you both crossed paths in the hallway, she'd make sure to talk about you to her friends and let you hear it. When you'd be studying in the library with your headphones on, she'd come up to you, lift them up on one ear, and let them snap back on before simply leaving again, or closing your books and mess up your notes.

All that with no explanation. And it drove you completely insane.

Present day

"Williams! Keep up!" The coach yelled across the field. You stood right beside him, holding the second football they needed for training earlier. Your brother had said this was a great 'side job' idea, but until now, it was kinda boring and exhausting to follow the coaches' unnecessary tasks. Plus, Ellie was in the team, and you couldn't ignore the feeling that she'd say something to embarres you any moment.

"So," the coach turned to you, "practise is almost over, bring the stuff back into the storage room." You mentally rolled your eyes at his tone and the missing please, but quickly picked up everything and walked to the storage rooms. Without really motivation, you began to sort the things into the right drawers or shelves. Suddenly you heard footsteps, which came from outside. Probably the footballers, you thought, since the locker rooms were right beside this room, shifting your attention back to the agility ladders until you heard a familiar voice.

"Why's she suddenly here too? Shes making me lose my fucking mind." Ellie. You didn't have the nerve hearing her talk shit about you again, so you made your way to the door, but the next thing that was said made you freeze. "Then go talk to her. Tell her how you feel. It can't get any worse than this." That was Jesse's voice. You knew him from one of your classes and as one of Ellies best friends. He sometimes apologised for Ellies behaviour when he was with her. "I can't. What if she's grossed out? She'll never even look in my direction again." You were confused. All these comments because Ellie was scared that you didnt like her? Your thoughts were interrupted by Jesse. "But getting her attention through bullying is better?" A short silence. "At least she looks at me. She notices me. Every time I walk into a room she's in, her attention is on me. You don't understand. I need it." More silence.

You needed a second to process what you just heard, and you still couldn't really believe it. Ellie Williams, the one girl you were one hundred percent sure hated every bit of you, suddenly liked you.

"Yeah, whatever." You heard Jesse say before you heard him walk off. After waiting a few seconds, you tried to move as quiet as possible because you weren't sure if Ellie was still standing outside the door. But before you could make that sure, you bumped into the shelf behind you, which caused a loud sound. "Is there anyone?" You heard Ellie ask and froze. fuck, you thought, looking for another door you could exit through.

The door suddenly opened, and you were met with the green eyes of Ellie. As she realised it was you, she went pale. "You.. heard all that?"

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

Epic Fandom We Need To Talk! (An Open Letter)

As a former survivor of severe Cyberbullying and harrasment I can no longer stay silent anymore. You have forced my hand.

This has gone way too far and I am massively disappointed. All I ask is that you listen to what I have to say. This is no longer a joke as a survivor of Cyberbullying and harrasment I can say that a misunderstanding has turned into The Epic Fandom putting the livelihood and well being of artists in danger. I ask you to be respectful and understand I am speaking from old wounds and experience. Please don't twist my words, I don't support 🍇 or Antinous he is a horrible character.

Tw: Mentions of Cyberbullying, 🍇 and harassment

Dear Epic Fandom,

You are better then this, I know you are. Polites taught us to greet the world with open arms and accept when people make mistakes and stop holding onto are anger. The fandom is growing and we can't stop it but I'm really disappointed in the people letting hate win and turning the fandom venomous and toxic

We are all Epic Fans but behind the glass on your screen there's a person, a person with feelings who you know nothing about. You all don't know the real Melody typing this but your all probably gonna make assumptions based on what you dont know and that is the danger of being online. The person who posted fanart of Antinous and Telemachus you didn't like, they have real feelings. Complicated messy feelings that aren't able to be articulated enough online.

As a survivor of bullying myself my motto is block or scroll. I myself am very uncomfortable with a lot of the ao3 tags shipping Odysseus with Poseidon or Zeus but do I go angrily type on my keyboard? No I don't cos it's none of my damnn business. When I saw that art, I was confused and uncomfortable but instead of being reckless and sentimental I asked for clarification. Taking Polites advice I used open arms and talked about what was bothering me without attacking the artist. Instead of being like Polites you all became Poseidon. Ruthlessness Is Mercy is not the way to go, it's a toxic way to go about life. Did you all not listen to that Thunder Saga and see how it destroyed everything Odysseus had known for the past thirteen years.

You should all be absolutely ashamed of yourself. This is not what the Epic Fandom should be. You don't like someone's fan art ask for clarification and or block. There is no need to be Ruthless and cruel. The fact two genuine heartfelt Apologises have been made and you still can't let it go very much clearly shows your character. You are very much like Poseidon and Zeus and should be ashamed. In Ares words you are all sick cowards. Not only that but you are clearly projecting. I suggest you go to therapy if you think your time in the Epic the musical fandom should be spent bullying and harassing people then leave. The number one rule is that there is always a person behind the screen and that you should think before you type.

I'm still not over the fact how you have twisted and triggered someone's truama. I also can't believe hate is being given after the artist mentioned her experience. 🍇 is not a thing to weaponise. I feel like the Wisdom Saga has made you far too comfortable in how you handle and discuss 🍇. The artist forgot her trigger warnings and wasn't even trying to imply the twisted image you put on her. Also I pointed out she shouldn't have tagged it Epic and apologied. Jorge has made adaptations to The Odssey a piece of fiction. What Jorge has done with Antinous is his own creative liberties. If you can't have sensitive and respectful conversation about something that is still happening to people I don't know what to say. Accusing someone of supporting 🍇 is not okay at all. The artist wasn't attending that way and understands she shouldn't have done what she did but it goes both ways. Look for context before you slam. Judging someone based on an honest mistake and huge misunderstanding is dangerous and cruel. Do you not understand the dangers this could put the artist in in real life. Please have open arms and think before you type. This is a serious topic and not a joke.

Moving on I want to talk about why I think this blew up so bad. It's because Elian was commissioned to do an animatic for Jorge. Listen you all would have blocked if it wasn't for that. I read comments saying they idolised her and that is a really f**** dangerous thing to do. Idiolising someone because they've been noticed or hired by Jorge isn't healthy at all. At the end of the day we are all human beings. Elian is allowed to make mistakes and grow. Outside of Epic this is becoming a massive problem in genuine.

Worse I've seen and heard about Artists like Mirscy and AnniFlamma getting attacked just for defending their friend. I'm sorry are we not allowed to defend our friends now from bullying? I can't speak for them but if I saw my friend getting hated and harassed on I'd be angry too, it's like a natural emotion to feel. Then again you are the same fandom that mocks Eurylochus for sticking up for his crew so I'm not suprised. These artists are human beings and not God's because Jorge noticed and appreciated their work. Stop twisting these artists into people there not.

I'm not Tiresias but I can see Jorge stopping collaborating with artists on animatics if you keep this disgusting behaviour up. Constructive criticism is okay but falsely twisting the image of an artist is not okay at all by doing this you are dehumanising artists and doing exactly what Hollywood does. Jorge will have to stop commissioning people it you keep using the fact he noticed them against them when they make mistakes like all human beings do.

Please do better and stop being Poseidons. An 8 year grudge was unhealthy and got him nowhere. Be more like Polites and Greet The World with open arms. Not everything is black and white. Tik Tok built the Epic Fandom up and you hold all the power.

Stay kind and great the world the world with open arms.

Yours Sincerely,

Melody

They/Them

Ps: If you send me hate and twist my words be warned I have friends as well. One particular friend was there when a lot of my Cyberbullying truama happened and is aware why this has triggered me so badly and caused an episode.

Attack you will be blocked. I'll also remove reblogs.

Attack and you will be reported.

You don't scare me.

Be nice Epic Fandom and don't become The Monster. I'm willing to have civil conversations but that's it.

[reidsrambles]

Something More and Second Chances

Chapter 3

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader // Second chance

Description: You're stunned when your former friends with benefits shows up at your new job—and nearly a decade after you ghosted him. It turns out, he works in the same building, and he definitely hasn't forgotten about you. Will your apologies be enough? What happens if he does forgive you? Does time truly heal all wounds? (Content/Warnings below the cut)

Content/Warnings: [18+ MDNI], smut, friends with benefits, oral sex (F receiving), PIV sex, condomless sex, IUD birth control, mention of abortion (in the context of being on the same page prior to sex), riding, soft dom M, praise kink F.

This fic is quite emotionally heavy, and both Spencer and Reader delve deep into past traumas. None is current. If any of these topics may be triggering or upsetting to you, please skip this one: child abuse, child abandonment, attachment issues, foster care, adoption, CPS, bullying, trust issues, mental health issues, misunderstandings, ghosting, and Reader mentions that she possibly committed emotional infidelity in the past, thinking about Spencer while with another partner.

Names used: Baby, good girl

Words (this chapter): 6,118

Words (total): 12,462

The world stills as Spencer cuts the engine of his car in the parking spot beside yours. Being a chilly fall evening, you chose to wait in your car. You only had to wait a minute for him to pull in after you, but your car is already an almost-uncomfortable level of cool without the heat blasting. 

The short drive to your house was silent and full of more reflection than you had expected. Thinking about fucking Spencer again was exciting. Will he be as submissive as he used to be? You got wetter and squirmed in your car seat just thinking about how Spencer used to beg for praise; beg to be told what a good boy he was being. Has he developed any new kinks? Maybe he’ll be more dominant and instruct you to get on your knees and suck? Fuck. You want it all with him.

That’s the problem, though. You want it all with him. A sense of dread quickly overshadows thoughts of the act. Every thought about sex with Spencer brings up other scenarios. Cuddling and watching movies with him, just like the olden days. Grocery shopping with him every week, because when you did it together, it didn’t feel like such a chore. His soft, featherlight kisses as you woke up. He didn’t want to wake you too fast. He just wanted to kiss you. Showering with him after sex. You both justified it as common sense. You were both sweaty and gross. Why take two separate showers? But those showers always turned into washing each other, making out, laughing together…

Conversely, you thought about your life now. How lonely your couch, bed, and shower are. How much you still despise grocery shopping alone. Thinking about how things were with him in college, your chest swells with warmth, but your throat tightens up.

You push your car door open, the crisp air sending a chill straight to your bones. Spencer follows you inside.

You flip a light switch, illuminating your open-concept kitchen and living room. You turn on only the under-cabinet lights in the kitchen, keeping the harsh overhead lights off. The space is dimly lit by the glow from the kitchen.

“This place is really nice,” he says, looking around as he hangs his jacket up in your entryway. You kick your smart, chunky heels off, letting them stay wherever they fall. Spencer slips his Converse off before picking them up and placing them in an empty spot on your shoe rack. He still wears the same type of shoes. Not at all surprising. This pair looks so worn and dirty, though. He badly needs a new pair.

He loosely points to the art hanging over your couch and stills. 

“You still have that painting?”

You look at the painting on the wall, only about the size of standard printer paper. The frame is too small to fill the space on the wall and it clashes with your current decor, but you’ve never wanted to take it down. 

After a difficult final exam season, Spencer gifted it to you. Shy, quiet Spencer reached out to a Fine Arts student and commissioned a watercolor painting of Pemberley House from the 1995 BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. Pride and Prejudice is on the list of your all-time favorite novels—a list that is far too long. How can anyone have a single favorite novel? Reading Pride and Prejudice over and over is one of the reasons you survived high school. It was a familiar world to escape into. When it felt like there was a tornado of chaos ripping through the town called Your Life, letting your mind run away to Longbourn and Pemberley gave you just enough strength to make it through each day. There was something so comforting about reading the final word of a book and then turning back to the first page again. That’s how you learned the tremendous strength of the written word.

“I like it,” you say. “I wasn’t going to throw it out just because it made me think of you.”

Your words fail to convey just how much you love that piece. Whether intentional or not, you aren't sure.

“I’m glad you liked it enough to keep it all these years.” 

The flirty, light conversation at the coffee shop is gone, replaced by awkward, restless apprehension. Making a move now, in the privacy of your home, is definitive. It isn’t conceptual anymore. It’s real. 

“Spencer, can we chat?” you ask, gesturing to your couch.

His brows furrow in concern and he stands straighter, following you to your couch. “Yeah, of course.” 

Sitting next to Spencer on the couch, you know you’ve made the right decision. Even if this doesn’t go the way you want it to, you need to say your piece. 

Before you can start, Spencer says, “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, just to make that clear.”

A small smile flashes across your face. “I appreciate that, Spence, but that isn’t—” 

Spence. Your old nickname for him.

“That isn’t what I need to bring up,” you continue. “On the drive over here, I started thinking some more about how things were between us in college. The sex was obviously great. But as you know, it was never just sex for either of us, and we didn’t set the proper boundaries for a friends with benefits relationship. We did a lot of boyfriend-girlfriend type stuff together, and feelings got confused.”

Spencer stays quiet and nods as you speak. 

“My feelings weren’t confused, though. Not about you, at least. I fell in love with you. I loved you. The confused part was me not knowing how to deal with those feelings.”

After a momentary lull in the conversation, Spencer says, “I mean, I don’t have to tell you how in love with you I was back then. I wasn’t very good at hiding it. I just wish I had been.”

“Spencer, if it helps, I did feel that love from you, even though I wasn't able to accept it properly. And though I left, I think that the love that I felt for you is what's kept you in my head all these years. Look, we haven’t seen each other in many years. I’m really glad we got to clear up a lot of loose threads tonight, but I realized on the drive over here that I can’t sleep with you if it’s just going to be a hookup.”

Testing the waters, you gingerly place a hand on his arm. He doesn’t flinch or try to move. 

Gathering all the courage from within you, you say, “I want to be with you. I want to be in a relationship with you. For real, this time. It doesn’t have to be right this second and we can keep getting to know—”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, I want to be in a relationship with you.”

“…Like, now?”

The weight of the room lifts from your chest as he breathes a laugh. “Yes, now. Unless you’ve become some entirely different person since college—which I highly doubt you have—I want you, Y/N. I’ve wanted you since college. I need you to be honest with me, though. I need you to tell me if you feel an urge to pull away or if I’m being too much. I need you to communicate with me. That’s all I ask going into this. We can work through things together, but I’m not a mind reader.” 

A shaky laugh escapes you from relief as you nod. You placed your heart in your hands and offered it to him. He was gentle and took it from you with love and care. 

“If you’ve committed any major crimes,” he adds, “that would be a deal-breaker, though.”

You laugh and slump down against the back of the couch, still reeling. 

“What about minor crimes?” you ask.

“I suppose it depends on how minor,” he says playfully. His hand grazes your knee before resting just above it. You fight the urge to part your legs into his touch.

“I actually can’t think of any laws I’ve broken…”

He leans down to your ear and whispers, “Knew it,” and the sensation of his breath against your skin has you angling your head away from him. The muscles of your thighs twitch, and with his hand remaining on your knee, you know he notices the movement.

Spencer sits back up, turning his body towards you on the couch. A moment passes solely looking at each other and admiring each other. His eyes look so soft and kind. With your hands still on each other’s knees, you let your fingers dance against his skin. His chest is rising and falling, occasional sharp breaths hitching in his throat as the space between your body inches closed. 

He’s yours. You’re his. Drawing close to his body feels like returning home. 

“Please kiss me, Spencer,”

“Gladly,” he breathes.

The side of his face is illuminated in a way that makes him look like an actor in a movie—you, his leading lady; as though, if you looked to the side, you’d see a film crew and those big movie lights filling your living room. He looks angelic, leaning down over you. Your eyes fall shut as his lips hit yours. It feels both new and familiar. The kisses are soft—almost hesitant. Almost. 

One of Spencer’s hand cups your face. The other sweeps up your mid-back to pull you towards him. You grasp his arm, gently digging your nails in—a silent plea to never stop touching you.

Eyes closed, you’re navigating his body by touch only. When Spencer pulls away and rests his forehead on yours, panting breaths dancing in the small space between your lips and you breathe, “I’ve missed you.”

Spencer replies, first, without words. His hand moves to the back of your head, outstretched fingers gliding through your hair as he pulls you in for a deeper kiss. Your lips part so easily for him. It’s odd how recognizable his mouth tastes. Some deep corner of your memory was reserved for the taste of him.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he sighs. “I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve dreamed about kissing you again.”

When you look at Spencer again, his eyelids are heavy. He looks dazed.

Slowly, but without hesitation, you shift into a more comfortable position. Without breaking eye contact, you gently take his hand and place it on your chest, causing his breath to hitch.

“Is that the only thing you’ve dreamed of?” you ask, letting your weight settle in his lap. “Because it isn’t the only thing I’ve dreamed of.”

He’s already hard. You subtly rock your hips against the bulge beneath you, and Spencer’s head falls back with a pained groan.

You place a soft kiss on his jaw before working your way down the buttons of his shirt, needing to feel his skin.

“I’ve fantasized about doing so many things to you,” he says. “It felt so good in the moment,” he flicks his gaze away momentarily, “and so shameful after.”

“What did you think about Spence? Did you touch yourself thinking about me?”

“Far too many times,” he laughs. His hands roam your body as he squirms under your hips in search of more friction. “I mean, I thought about whatever memories I had from college at first. Eventually, I had to start coming up with new scenarios.” 

Attempting to not come across too presumptuous, you smirk and ask, “So, did you think about me… often?”

He sighs. Though the conversation has delved into a possibly touchy topic, you continue to gently rock your hips against him, an action he reciprocates. A subtle reminder that you still want this. You still want him.

“Sorry, that’s probably really weird.” He closes his eyes and dips his chin down. “I wasn’t dating. Eventually, I got really busy with work. You can imagine how long and intense some of these cases are. Thinking about you felt like a harmless escape, you know?”

You swipe a finger across his plush lower lip. Watching his lips while he spoke, all you wanted to do was kiss him. As your hand falls from his lip and down his arm, you show him just how hot you find it that he thought about you while jerking off. Spencer’s shame seems to dissipate as he whimpers at the contact.

“Does it make you feel better if I tell you that I thought about you, too?” 

He nods quietly in response, his eyes squeezing shut.

“Whenever I felt particularly alone in life,” you continue, fighting the shame that arises, “thoughts of you tended to pop up, and so I leaned into them at points. Some nights, when I couldn’t fall asleep, the only thing that could get me to relax enough was lying on my side, wrapping my arm around one of my pillows, and imagining you were holding me again.”

Spencer doesn’t waste a moment after you finish speaking before pulling you down to his mouth with a fervor you haven’t seen from him yet tonight. You’re so glad you were able to swallow those shameful feelings, because, oh, that turned him on, alright. His hands grip tightly on your hips as he grinds upwards.

His body is tense and stiff. The slight sheen across his forehead is just barely visible in the dimness. His expression is pained, but his voice simply sounds dejected when he says, “Tell me that you want this.”

He stills, his chest rising and falling in heaving breaths. Your heart swells to twice its size before shattering into a million pieces. It’s mended immediately thereafter by his need for reassurance. You know you need to repair his trust in you. You know that it’ll take time and effort, but you’ll prove to him that he doesn’t need to worry about pushing you away with his affection anymore. What used to repel you now draws you in. You don’t want to run and hide. Spencer asking for reassurance and you wanting to do nothing but comfort him feels like winning an Olympic medal. This is what you so badly wished you could have been for him in the past, and now you have the ability to. 

“Well, on the drive over here, I was thinking about your dick, obviously.” His lips press together into a smile at that, and you giggle momentarily. “But I also couldn’t stop thinking about all the stuff we did in college that I was too afraid to admit was boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. I still hate grocery shopping by myself,” you smile. “I miss when you’d take me to the movies and explain all the stuff I missed after I fell asleep on your shoulder. I want you to meet both my moms, and as my boyfriend this time.” 

Later, you’ll tell him about how much of a good impression he made on the mom that he accidentally met, because before you dropped out of school, she’d ask you how your boyfriend was every time she’d call. 

Palm to palm, you slide your fingers between his. “Spence, I want this.” You press a soft, tender kiss to his lips, trying to momentarily ignore the sharp throbbing between your legs. “I want you. I want everything that we used to have and more. I want to be your girlfriend and give you every part of me that I couldn’t give you before.” 

Spencer’s jaw is slack as he pants, completely awestruck.

Everything about the way that tonight has progressed feels like a dream. If you close your eyes too hard, you fear that you’ll wake up alone in your bed. You need to keep touching him, if only to prove to yourself in some capacity that he’s actually here and not a figment of your sleeping consciousness. Pressing your weight further into his lap for one deep, long grind against his bulge, Spencer chokes down a whine, and you sigh a shuddered breath at the broad pressure. 

“Spence, can I ride you, baby?”

“I just need to feel you as soon as humanly possible.”

You lift your hips and he frees himself from his pants. 

“Shit,” he sighs. “I don’t have any condoms. I didn’t think—”

You stare at his bare cock and try to see through the fog of lust in order to think clearly. A glossy bead of pre-cum decorates the tip and you just want to lick it off.

“I don’t have any, either. If you still want to do this, though, I got an IUD two years ago and I’ve been tested since my last partner. If something were to happen, I wouldn’t be keeping it. If that’s okay with you, I’m down for whatever.” You’re gently swaying your hips above him, desperate for friction. You, selfishly, want this so bad, so you just hope that he doesn’t feel pressured. 

He’s sharply nodding his head before he can get any words out, eyes locked on the space between your legs as his nails dig into your hips. “I’ve been tested. All of that is—great, perfect.”

Thank god. 

You stand, desperate to get your work clothes off. If you had been alone, you would’ve been in your pajamas within minutes of getting home. 

Standing in front of him, still fully clothed, your confidence gets a bit of a boost as Spencer mindlessly fists his cock, loosely jerking it as he watches you.

As each item of clothing comes off, down to your basic, nude-colored bra and mismatched underwear, Spencer’s grip on himself tightens. You don’t drag it out on purpose, but seeing him this unraveled already is downright intoxicating. 

As soon as you crawl back on top of him, you’re back at his lips. Kissing him is also downright intoxicating.

You sit up straight, and Spencer slips, first one finger, then two into you, pumping them gently in and out a few times. You steady yourself with a hand on his shoulder as he aligns himself between your legs. 

Feeling Spencer Reid slide inside you again heals an emptiness deep within you that you weren’t even cognizant of before. It feels fucking spiritual. 

Your jaw drops open as an obscene moan falls from your lips. Spencer practically swallows it as he pulls you down to his lips. It feels like a cliché to say that he fits perfectly inside you, but sitting fully on his cock, that’s the only thing that your brain can process—how perfect he feels. 

“Fuck, baby,” he all-but cries into your mouth.

You lift your hips and slowly begin to ride him. 

“Yeah?” he asks, panting. “Should I just keep trying different pet names, or do you have a list of ones you like now?”

“Try me.”

His grip on your hips tightens as you pick up your pace. “Good girl?”

You jerk your hips against him and moan, almost laughing at how visceral a reaction that was.

“I suppose that’s a yes?” he laughs.

“I used to loathe praise, but now it does that to me.” 

You internally cringe for a moment, thinking about the one time Spencer tried to tell you what a good job you were doing riding him. You angrily got out of bed and left, leaving both you and him confused because you had no idea why it made you so upset. Now? You want to show him that he has you, fully and completely. It feels natural to submit to him like this, and it seems like it feels natural for him to take on this more dominant role. 

You lift your hips up to the head of his cock before gliding back down, and he pulls your hips down to hold you in place, exhaling roughly.

“No, no, no. If you do that again, I’m not going to last, baby.” His hands roam your body as he pulls you into a tight hug against his chest, only allowing you to grind your hips. He sucks on a nipple before nuzzling his face into your chest and groaning. “Do you have any idea how fucking perfect you are?”

When you freeze and don’t respond, Spencer looks up at you. Searching your face, he says, more sternly this time, “If you don’t believe it now, just give me a chance to make you believe it.”

You’ve already done so much inner-work on your self-esteem and confidence, but it’s still hard to receive such direct, honest praise in that way. He could make you believe it, though. That, you’re certain of.

“Can we go to my room?” you ask, and Spencer nods in return.

You quickly pull the corners of your messed sheets into place, Spencer assisting you on the other side. You’ve never been one to make your bed. 

You lay down on the bed, ready to let Spencer take charge. He crawls on top of you and, after thoroughly kissing your mouth and neck, works his way down your body, worshipping every spot he touches as though he may never get to touch you again. 

When he lands between your legs, he lifts one over his shoulder before gliding his fingers between your lips, spreading your wetness.

“God, look at you,” he says, entranced. 

When you look between your legs and see Spencer shaking his head as he admires your body, you feel like you could cum on the spot. You slide one hand into his hair as the other tightly grips the skin of your thigh, biting your nails into the flesh to cope. Spencer wraps his arm around your thigh, finding your hand and clasping his fingers between yours from above it.

You whimper as your hips squirm, desperate at this point. His hot breath against your wet clit feels like torture.

“Are you needy for me, baby?”

You just whimper and nod, unable to find the words to accurately convey how badly you need him.

“Put another pillow behind you and sit up more,” he says. "I want you to watch.”

Well, fuck. This is going to ruin you.

Eyes locked with his, he licks up between your lips, moaning at the taste. You throw your head back and squeeze your eyes shut on contact, but Spencer pulls away, letting his hot breath dance across your wet skin.

“I said, eyes on me, baby.” 

The sight of his face between your legs as he eats you out is almost too much to bear, but you know that’s the point.

A bit more hesitantly, he asks, “You want to be a good girl for me, don’t you?”

Your squirming, moaning reaction to his words seems to be all the encouragement he needed as he dives in, finally sucking and licking and tasting you like a starved man. You use every ounce of willpower to keep your eyes locked on his. 

You developed this praise kink a number of years ago, but Spencer’s praise is something else. It sparks something deep inside of you. All the history between you and this complete 180 flip of the sexual dynamic has you on cloud nine. Some door inside you is actively being unlocked, or some flood gate is bursting. 

“Spence,” you say, getting his attention. 

“What’s wrong? Do you want me to stop?” he asks, immediately on alert and trying to read you.

“No, no. Not at all,” you say, shaking your head. “It’s just, we didn’t really do oral in the past. This feels fucking amazing, trust me. But I’ve never finished with oral before, so I don’t want you to expect it or be upset if I don’t.”

He reaches his hand up to cup your jaw, still slightly out of breath. “Hey, I don’t care about that at all, if you don’t. I just want you to feel good. I’d be happy to sit here and eat you out all night if that’s what you wanted and if it made you feel good. You can tell me to stop at any point or we can move on to something else, okay?”

Safe. You’re safe. Spencer is happy to keep going. He isn’t expecting anything from you, besides wanting you to feel good. This is good. This is safe.

You nod gently. “Promise me that you’ll stop at any point, too. I need to know that you feel safe stopping or moving on at any point, too.”

“Of course,” he says quietly. His eyes seem to sparkle as he reassures you, and you know he means it. He nuzzles his head against your thigh and aimlessly kisses the sensitive skin. “But can I please keep going? I can assure you that I’m not ready to be done yet.”

“Please?” you whisper.

“Close your eyes if you need to, baby,” he says against your inner thigh. “Focus on how good it feels.”

You watch him start again, but let your eyes fall shut naturally as he finds his rhythm again. Letting your hands roam up to your chest, you massage your breasts, pinching and pulling at your nipples. 

As your head falls further back and your hips find their own rhythm to compliment his, he slips “look at you” and “so good” in with breaths. 

You feel truly relaxed for a change. You trust his words. You aren’t in your head, wondering if your body looks okay from down there or consciously arching your back to avoid rolls. The way your body feels is all that you can focus on. It’s as if Spencer has quieted or turned off every other part of your waking mind, because right now, all that exists is him. All that exists is this feeling rising through your body and his shared experience with him.

And then he stops. Lifting your head, you watch him stare stupidly as he slowly pushes two fingers inside of you. Your hips first roll away, and then back into his hand as he fully enters you. You hadn’t even realized how empty you had felt without something inside you, and you throw your head back with a moan as you grind into his stilled hand.

“Fuck, yes. You’re such a good girl, baby. Look at how good you’re being for me.” 

His mouth reattaches to your clit as he subtly pumps his fingers in and out of you, and it takes everything within you to not scream. This is it. This is what you needed. 

“I—Spencer, it feels too—I don’t know if I can—” you say, your whole body squirming against his mouth and hand. 

Your squirms turn into jerks and Spencer says, “Hands on my head, baby. Fuck my face. Make yourself feel good for me.”

Sliding your fingers through his hair as you clasp his head on both sides, you grind your clit against his tongue as he continues to work inside you, adjusting his fingers until you gasp, “Oh, god. Don’t move. Right there.”

You know what it feels like when you’re close. But you’ve never climaxed like this. The build has never felt like this. This is already the most vulnerable and intimate sex you’ve had, by orders of magnitude. 

Spencer’s free hand shifts from your thigh to gently press down on your lower stomach, the external pressure swelling the pulsating thrum between your legs.

“Spence, baby, I’m close,” you cry.

Spencer moans into your clit loudly, his fingers curling and twisting and fucking you with a burst of might. Looking down and seeing Spencer between your legs—your boyfriend, Spencer—you feel the tightness in your abdomen spread through your body as a tingling warmth. 

“Oh my god,” is all you can manage before the wave of your orgasm crests, every sensation in your body dialed up to maximum. Through blinking eyes, you nod sharply to Spencer as he leads you through your climax. He switches to light, rhythmic licks and steady pumps of fingers as your orgasm works through you.

Utter bliss is the only thing you could use to describe how this feels. 

Spencer is watching his fingers slowly entering and leaving your body as though he’s mesmerized by it. 

“You’re so perfect, Y/N. I still can’t believe that tonight is real. It still just feels like a dream.”

You smirk. “Well, if you fuck me, will that make it feel more real?”

He takes his fingers out and licks them clean. Your body lets you know that it’s had enough recovery time as Spencer moans against your clit, lazily licking it some more. His eyes are closed, trying to savor your taste. He doesn’t want to stop. 

“Spence,” you say, gaining his full attention as he opens his eyes to you. As honestly and vulnerably as you can, you say, “I need you.”

Like he did on his way down, he kisses a trail up your body. At your neck, his kisses turn harsher, no doubt leaving hickies as he sucks at your skin. 

I’m yours, you think. Use me. Take me.

“Yes,” you moan.

His hot breath against your ear sends a shiver down your body. “You like that, baby? You like cumming in my mouth? You like when I mark you?”

You nod against his cheek with a whine. “Spence, please.”

“What, baby?”

“Please fuck me.”

Spencer kisses your jaw and then your mouth. 

“Y/N, I’m not going to last long,” he whines.

“That’s okay,” you laugh, guiding his jaw to make him look at you. “I want to make you feel good.”

His forehead meets yours, and he whispers, “I don’t want this to end yet.”

Not breaking eye contact, you reach down between your bodies and find his cock, wrapping your hand around it. You guide the tip between your soaking wet lips, causing Spencer’s jaw to slack with a weak moan.

“I’m off tomorrow. You can stay here tonight, if you want. We don’t have to leave this bed.”

Spencer attacks your mouth with deep, long kisses, only stopping to moan loudly into your mouth as his cock slides inside you. You arch into his chest as his pace builds.

“We’ll figure it out,” you continue through panted breaths, “but I’m not going anywhere, Spencer. I’ll prove to you that you don’t have to worry about losing me again, because I’m not letting go of you this time.”

He needs this. He needs the reassurance. He needs to feel safe. 

But so do you. 

“Fuck, I missed you so much,” he mutters, and brushes a piece of hair off your forehead..

“I needed you so badly,” you breathe. But your words come out strangled. 

It was a fluke, you thought. You’re just remembering it better than it was. At least, that’s what you told yourself every time you shamefully thought about Spencer to get yourself off—sometimes while you were with a partner. Those relationships never lasted long once you got to that point…

It wasn’t a fluke. It’s somehow better than you remember. 

Looking at the man above you, you realize what it is. The magic between you.

Little nods and breaths and kisses exchange, each a promise that you feel this, too. Palpable, yet unquantifiable. 

“So beautiful. You’re still so fucking beautiful and perfect, goddamn it,” Spencer cries.

The funny thing about sex is that it can act like a truth serum. Admitting to things you probably shouldn’t, all because you’re horny and pumped full of so much serotonin and dopamine that it just feels right to.

“I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.” 

Your shoulders tighten as you suck in a breath, unable to release it when Spencer slows. 

His mouth opens, as if to speak, but his face just contorts with pleasure as he starts pounding into you hard again. 

“Oh god, baby, I’m cumming,” he half moans, half laughs.

A laugh forces its way out of you as you realize what’s happening. Spencer’s head is in the crook of your neck as his body aimlessly jerks into you. You run a hand through his hair as he comes down from his high. Anything to comfort him. 

“Spencer Reid, did you—”

“Shut it,” he laughs, still catching his breath. 

He kisses you, and his cock twitches inside you, causing you to moan into his mouth. Heat builds in your chest as the kiss deepens, and you grip his hair at the back of his head in response. 

Part of you wants to grind your hips into him and get a round two out of him, but you can see his brain working overtime right now, his tell still being his dazed expression and fluttery blinks. 

“You okay?” you ask, brushing the hair off his forehead, letting your nails gently glide against his scalp in the way he used to love. 

“Yeah, that was just…”

“A lot?” you offer, and he nods in confirmation.

“I still just can’t believe you’re here,” he says. He swipes a thumb across your lower lip, and you spring your head forward, trapping his thumb between your teeth. You giggle and he plays along, pretending his finger is trapped. When you release it, you ask, “Real enough for you?”

“What’s gotten into you?” he laughs, but you can’t help from answering honestly.

“I feel twenty pounds lighter, which helps. I’m also just insanely happy that this did happen. All of it.”

“I’ve thought about this way too many times—about seeing you again and doing… this again,” he gestures to the space between you, dipping his chin, “but it’s still better than I remembered somehow.”

“I actually had the same thought about five minutes ago. My memories of you faded over time. I think my brain filled in the pieces, but they were like knock-off pieces, you know? The memory puzzle, even though it was complete, looked weirder and weirder over time as my brain filled it in with the knock-off pieces.”

Once the words leave your mouth, you aren’t even sure the thought makes sense anymore. But you decide to roll with it, too tired to backtrack. 

“That analogy isn’t that far off from how it works in the hippocampus, actually,” Spencer says, peppering a few kisses up your neck. “When you recall an old memory, fMRI scans have shown that neocortical activity occurs in the areas where the different pieces of that memory are stored, and then, the hippocampus re-encodes those pieces into the memory.”

God, it’s still so hot when he gets nerdy. Especially when he’s above you, glistening with sweat, and you’re still in a post-sex fog. 

You pull him down for yet another kiss—you fear you’ll never get enough of them—and when your lips part, you close your eyes and say, “You know we need to sit down and discuss everything, right?”

Spencer finally pulls out of you and flops onto the bed beside you. Even though he knows you need to get up still, he curls into your side with his arm draped over your waist and says, “I think it can wait until tomorrow, don’t you? I don’t work tomorrow, either, unless we get a call. So, why don’t we go out on a proper date?”

“Or,” you drag out the word, “we can stay here all day and never leave this bed?” you suggest, twisting your lips into a smile.

“Or,” he mimics you by dragging out his word, “we can go to the bookstore,” damn him for pulling out your kryptonite, “and then, go get lunch before coming back here.”

You put on a pout, pretending to consider. It’s so nice to be this playful again in such a short period of time. Time will tell as to what will become of this, if anything, but you can’t lie and say that it doesn’t feel damn good to have Spencer back in your life. The air is clear, and a weight that you had been unknowingly carrying around for a decade is gone. 

You do still love Spencer. You can picture yourself falling in love with him again. This time, with an open heart.

At the end of the day, though, you trust Spencer. And, you trust yourself enough now to know that you’d be okay, regardless of how things transpire.

That’s all that matters.

“Yeah, I think I can make that work.”

After a nice warm shower, Spencer’s arm wrapped around your naked body keeps you close, even though you’ve already got a leg wrapped around his. He places a kiss at your hairline. Your heavy eyelids fall closed, and his heartbeat and steady breathing lull you to sleep. 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

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[milevenstancyendgame]

Mike Feeling Insecure About How Eleven Sees Him

Warning: This analysis accepts Mileven as canon and is pro-Mileven.

I think it's great that Mike's insecurity regarding Eleven's opinion of him was shown to us early on in s1, but it never really stood in their way, until it was brought back up in s4.

In s1, Mike tells El: "I don’t know why I just didn’t tell you. Everyone at school knows. I just didn’t want you to think I was such a wasteoid, you know?"

He's giving us a glimpse of having a low opinion of himself and projecting that onto El. He feels ashamed for being bullied and assumes that others will think him weak for it.

Then later on, when Lucas and Mike fight, Lucas accuses Mike of being blind with regards to El because she's the first girl to not be disgusted by him. I consider this a low blow (I love Lucas) and we can see that this hits Mike deeply (just rewatch it and look at his face). He starts punching Lucas after this.

So this further elaborates the context of Mike falling in love for us. It's not clear whether he has been in love before and got rejected, but either specific girls have been mean to him or it's just something that the boys assume, because they never had an explicitly positive relationship with a girl.

In s2, we see a group of girls in school giving the four boys weird looks, as they scramble for Max's note in the trash bin. All in all, it just seems like they aren't popular with their peers in general.

Plus, in s1 Ted Wheeler also said sarcastically "My son with a girl?" Which gives us a good idea of where Mike's low self esteem originates.

So Mike having the basic belief that girls don't like him, makes it inevitable that this will become an issue within his relationship with El, if left unaddressed.

Which is exactly what happened, as his basic negative beliefs about himself combined with his fear of losing El - we hear this in his talk to Will in the pizza van, sharing his fear that El might not need him any more, because she realised that he's "just a random nerd."

Mike doesn't believe himself to be special or worthy in any way, which is exactly what his parents treat him like (emotional neglect).

He further shares the belief that El only became attached to him because she needed someone when they first met, and he took her in. This further shows that he believes being loved is conditional and bound to performing a service to the other person/being of use to them.

In a more indirect, but nevertheless meaningful and realistic way, we see Mike giving El unconditional love - like so many unloved, lonely people, he gives her the love that he desperately craves himself, but doesn't feel worthy of.

There are many instances of this, but I'll just point out here the beautiful arc from him reassuring El about her appearance in s1 ("You don't need it." & "Yeah, pretty. Really pretty.") to "I love you on your good days, I love you on your bad days, I love you with your powers, I love you without your powers. I love you for exactly who you are." in his s4 monologue. And we have his actions to back up these reassurances.

Now that Eleven overcame her own insecurities and self-doubt in s4, and Mike has finally told her "I love you" and has made himself completely vulnerable to her, admitting his fear of losing her, of her not needing him anymore; I think a powerful/beautiful monologue from El in s5, reassuring Mike of her feelings for him, would sort of have them come full circle and close their low self-esteem/insecurity in the relationship arcs.

[dead-enby-detective]

To continue my comparison of the Dead Boy Detective show and the Doom Patrol episode with them in it, I wanted to talk about the exploration of Charles’s aversion/fear of water in Doom Patrol, I thought that was an interesting way to give him some more depth in the short time frame (especially since we get to see more of Edwin’s depth with his pain being used to open the door to the afterlife and Larry reaching out to him to discuss his feelings for Charles).

In the scene above Charles has to work himself up quite a bit in order to cross the lake and continue their case.

DBD Charles, in comparison, doesn’t seem to feel the same way about water.

In episode 2, he’s delighted by the enchanted ocean container.

In episode four, he even calls the view “pretty brills” while staring out into the ocean.

He doesn’t hesitate to run to Crystal when she’s dangling over the ocean.

He walks on the ocean side later (probably partially to ensure she doesn’t try to throw herself into the ocean) and even walks toward the water without any fear.

And when the Night Nurse has him relive his memories she sends him to the lake.

To me he seems more confused, maybe frightened because he doesn’t know where he is or what’s going on and than is far more scared when he gets attacked by the boys again rather than afraid of the water itself.

Then after the Night Nurse lectures him he’s angry,

and willing submerges himself to get away.

Then when he returns he, in his anger, sends her over the wall into the water.

To me, if he was afraid of the water, he’d be less likely to want to go towards it, or he’d at least hesitate before putting his plan into motion.

In my first post comparing and contrasting the Agency from the two show, I said the Doom Patrol Boys feel far less reactive to violence, especially their own. They doesn’t seem scared of it or using it themselves. But while DP Charles isn’t afraid of violence, though it did cause his death, he is afraid of water, which also played a role in his death.

In the DBD show Charles is scared of violence (especially his own) - as violence impacted him greatly in live with his abusive father and bullies but doesn’t seem to be of the water which also played a part in his death.

It’s very interesting to me which parts of his death the writers focused on for each show, the DP writers focused on the water/hypothermia and the DBD writers, the bullies.

As I said in my first post, obviously there’s far less time to explore the boys in the Doom Patrol episode than in the Dead Boy Detectives show so that absolutely could have been part of it.

I haven’t yet read the comics so I’m unsure which version of Charles’s fears is more accurate to the source material, if there’s an exploration of it at all.

It makes sense, in the Doom Patrol episode to show his fear of water. It naturally introduces his death, just as the door to the afterlife being opened by open naturally introduces Edwin’s experience in Hell.

The actor handles it really well. Just as the DBD actor handles his fear of violence really well. Both feel natural and important within the context of their shows.

Additionally, I tired looking up to see if Charles’s father was also abusive in the comics and I couldn’t find anything (please let me know if you know otherwise) and according to his wiki Charles actually died from burn injuries - though he did have to spent time in the icy lake as well.

So it’s definitely interesting that both shows focused on the hypothermia from the lake rather than the burns and it makes sense that if there’s isn’t a major storyline about his father in the comics that DP Charles has less negative feelings about violence than DBD Charles and thus, going back to my first post, reacts differently to it even though he too was bullied to death.

It’s incredibly interesting to me to see how the same character can be played/written in two very different ways based off the same source material and the ways the writers chose to focus on their traumas and fear differently.

What do you all think about how the shows chose to handle Charles’s fears?